


Do you feel like a Hero yet?

by itsubaru (mokusei)



Category: The Last of Us
Genre: Drama, Literature, M/M, fan fiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-03
Updated: 2016-02-03
Packaged: 2018-05-18 02:15:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5894215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mokusei/pseuds/itsubaru
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Old Joel/Male!Reader One-Shot.<br/>Platonic.</p><p>The Reader does stupid things to save the stupid people they consider their stupid family.<br/>Only to figure out not everything might be as stupid as they thought was.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Do you feel like a Hero yet?

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I _finally_ started doing my requests and I finally started playing TLOU so I decided to go into those ones first and I just?  
>  God damn I have so many emotions about this game. But also yes, some dialogue is taken from "Spec Ops: The Line" simply because I love that game so much.
> 
>  
> 
> This isn't even a real Joel x Reader anyways it'S JUST THE START OF A GR8 FRIENDSHIP. Probably.
> 
>  
> 
> I don't know, I wanted to make it longer but this story already has 2594</b> words. I better get extra pay for this, haha.
> 
>  
> 
>   
>   
> ~~also hahahahahaha episode 12 of free! iwatobi swim club references and dialogues too~~  
>   
>   
> 
> The Last of Us (c) Naughty Dog  
> Story, Plot (c) itsubaru  
> Male!Reader (c) Yourself

  
_It takes a strong man to deny what's right in front of him._

  
_And if the truth is undeniable, you create your own._

*

"Welcome home, [Male!Name]." a blonde teen greeted you, blue eyes darting over your form only to reflect worry at the sight of your bitter expression. "Did something happen?" Lars questioned before you sat down, legs apart while your arms laid over them, eyes cast downwards as your expression hardened. "No. Nothing happened." if it weren't for your posture one would believe that was true, seeing as years of trickery and acting made it easy to distinguish the pent up anger and frustration as well as sadness in your voice. Though, while worried the blonde decided not to press the topic any further, after all it was a rough day for everyone, seeing as some crazy man had just taken out one part of your team. And so you sat there for a long time, god knows how long exactly, an hour or two or even three, doing nothing but being lost in your thoughts, a scowl ever-present on your face while you stared at the ground. Immediately jolting up when someone touched your shoulder gently you glared at Lars causing the blue-eyed boy to jump back in surprsie. "O-Oh, the... err... b-boss was looking for you!" he stuttered out, obviously unnerved by your cold and calculating stare.

Staring at the torn paper in your hand you looked at the plan in shock before lowering the paper and staring at the older man. "This is..." you began only to be interrupted by a deeper voice, authority evident behind every word he spoke. "This is the plan for tomorrow, you will focus on surveillance of our camp." and with those words you took on a defensive stance.  Something wasn't right, never before were you supposed to guard the camp. It was a job for the lower 'ranks', the weak and sick. The ones that weren't strong enough to fight outside. "Hold on! Why?" you almost yelled, though within the last moment you were able to keep it down. Pushing himself off the wall he had leant on the boss kept his eyes closed before he replied. "I'm sending out our best men..." he began, and when his brown eyes bore into yours in an intense stare you involuntarily felt a shiver run down your spine. "And you're not in your best condition right now." he finished, your only vocal reply being the sharp intake of a breath and a shocked "no way..." before you turned around, hands clenched tightly into fists. You had heard it in his voice, that decision was final and there was no way of doing anything to change his mind.  
_  
_ When morning came and everyone got ready to leave you sat there, expression fierce and filled to the core with hatred as you stared down an empty can of peaches. Somewhere between sitting there and staring you heard Lars trying to cheerfully say something like "See you later!", though you never really heard it. Not that you truly cared. It was only when you heard shots that you jumped up, shocked and startled before you ran downstairs. Your group didn't normally resort to violence so what exactly was happening? It was when you reached the main street of the abandoned city that you saw them. Mark, the most brutal out of your group had his hands raised, Machete in place as he began swinging it down towards a girl. You assumed she was only around 12 or 13, maybe even 14, from the way she looked. Though that didn't matter, all that mattered was stopping him. She didn't have a gun so she couldn't possibly be of any danger. It was when you felt yourself tumble to the ground, a deep cut on your arm (your dominant one at that, what luck) that you realised you had slammed yourself into the attack, though, not without being hit. 

"[MALE!NAME]!? What are you doing!?" you heard a strong voice yell, and suddenly all shooting ended. "Why did one of you jump to save the girl?" you heard another voice ask, though you couldn't quite place it. "We said it before! We don't harm people!" you heard Lars yell before something lifted you up, only to let you collide with the ground again. "Why the hell did you stop me? Are you aware that she's infected!?" you heard Mark hiss in your ear before once more a sudden movement caused you to groan in pain. Being thrown off of you you felt a heavy foot on your chest, almost softly grinding down into it, causing your ripped shirt to get even dirtier. "You left your job. We were handling everything fine but you had to leave your damn job." Boss began before he sighed. "I trust you, [Male!Name]. But one more slip up and I'll have to kick you out. Three strikes marks the end." he warned before you used your healthy hand to push his foot off, effectively startling him. "Fine." you muttered lowly before standing up, clutching the profusely bleeding wound. "Where are you going?" you heard him ask as you slowly began to move. "Leaving." was all you replied, not even turning around.

It was only a few feet you were able to move before Lars stopped you, "Wait! [Male!Name]. If you leave now you could get in serious trouble! You should wait until you're in a better cond-" he was cut off by you slamming your injured fist onto a nearby glass, breaking it in the process. "SHUT UP!" you screamed, all the pent up emotions bursting out into a fiery whirlwind of anger and frustration. "But [Male!Name]! If you do that you won't-!" Lars tried to reason once more before you cut him off once again. "It doesn't matter! I don't give a damn about what happens!" you raised your voice, causing everyone to stare at you in surprise, even boss. "I'm obviously no better than this! No matter how hard I try I will never be as good as others and I-" you stopped yourself from ranting, taking one deep breath before raising your voice again. "Just forget it! I quit! I'm done with this World!" you spat, kicking the nearest object within reach, a trashcan filled with dust and stones. And with that you turned around again, stomping away and letting your anger eat away at you. Not that you really cared.

_"Big brother? Are you sure this is alright?" a meek voice questioned. Arching a brow you grinned at your little brother, it was fake but he didn't need to know. He was too young, he shouldn't have to be forced to face harsh realities like these. "Of course!" you nodded, "Dad said once he won't be able to protect you I need to do it! So come on! We'll need to get to Salt Lake City! He said he'd wait there for us!" it was a lie. Your father wouldn't be waiting, how could he? You had discovered his body earlier when the two of you had searched the remains of town for food. "Salt Lake City? Why that place? Do you even know where it is?" your brother asked, confusion practically written onto his face as you laughed, surprised at how realistic you made it sound despite the entire lie cast around it. "Dunno, why don't we ask him once we get back?" Lies. Lies, lies, lies. You had read that name on a letter you had found in a city, saying they would build a camp if they reached the city, since they had family there. You really hoped they had. "Alright..." he mumbled reluctantly, though he followed along. "Hm? Don't you trust me your great older brother? You know, since you're only 8 you should have more faith in the ones looking out for you!" you teased only to be shot down by his reply of "Says the 11 year old."_

__"In the end we never made it, huh? We joined Boss and the others and lived life like this. You never even asked about Dad and kept quiet... Until your last breath. _Greet Dad for me when you find him_ , huh?" you muttered to yourself dryly, looking at the would-be grave you had made for your brother after he had been severely injured. It made you break. You only had received a light scratch but your mental condition had gradually worsened since then. You began hearing things and then visions and livid hallucinations joined the combination, leaving you to feel like you were nothing but a burden to your group. You never told them but you were sure they knew, after all Boss would never have pulled you back if he had no clue about your struggles. And so you kept quiet, just like your brother had, though just now you had let it all out. Blowing up in front of everyone. Surely, after this they wouldn't let you return. You left out a dry laugh, "I wonder if I saved her because I saw _him_ for a second?" you mused, scratching your chin. It was true, right before you had begun to move to save the girl you had seen your brother in her place. Probably the reason you did it in the first place.

Hearing the familiar sound of clickers you groaned quietly before sitting down, ready to await your inevitable death and- No. You just couldn't do that. If you didn't take those things out they could find your group, they could find the only thing close to a family (despite your brother) you had within the last six years. Of course, they probably all hated you by now, but there still the loyalty and desire to protect them. Old habits die hard, as they say. And that was when you saw them. The girl and the man. They were cowering behind a car, not noticing the clicker sneaking up on them from the left. That's when you reacted. "HEY. DEAD FREAKS. I'M OVER HERE. COME AND GET A FRIGGIN' PIECE OF ME." you exclaimed as loudly as you could. And then you saw him, your brother. "Run." he whispered, "Run and get those things away." uncertain for a second you began running towards the bridge leading out of the city. "LOOK AT THIS, 'S SOME NICE PIECE OF FRESH MEAT. JUST A BIT BITTER AND STALE FROM BEING OUT OF THE KITCHEN FOR TOO LONG." you shouted, hoping that all the nonsense you began to spit out received every clickers attention.

You had a tactic, get them to follow you and then sneak away. Lead them out of the city. Get everyone to safety, do something useful for once and be the Hero you vowed to be for your brother for once. Step by step, one foot before the other and before you knew it you were almost there. All you had to do was get off that cliff without dying and make a run for the bridge. From then on they most likely wouldn't find the way out again. That's when it happened. All it took was one hallucination, one split second of seeing your brothers mutilated corpse in front of you and you stumbled, you surpressed a scream but that did not change the fact that you stumbled. And you fell. The noise that resulted was loud enough to draw all the clickers to you, though with you laying in the midst of them all you could do was not move and hope that they wouldn't spot you. Not that you could move a lot anyways, luckily you didn't hurt your head but that not mean your back thanked you for that adventure. You stiffened at a noise to your left and when you blinked you realised that it was them again. No, not them, it was just the man. Probably let the girl hide in safety.

Cursing him in your mind for the persisent bastard he was you didn't notice the clickers being killed quietly before the last one fell directly onto you. "Oomph!" you exclaimed, muffled by the clicker on top of you before he lifted it off of you. The scowl on his face was as prominent as on the first time you saw him. "For someone who runs off with such a condition and then tries to play hero you sure can't climb, kiddo." he stated plainly, looking you dead in the eye as he helped you up. "Joel! Is he alright?" you finally heard the girl, voice loud as she ran towards the both of you. "Sh! Do you want to draw more of those things towards us?" the man, apparently Joel, hissed before the girl turned around, rolling her eyes. "Yeah, right." she mumbled, grumpily. You chuckled a bit, somehow she reminded you of your brother. When you noticed both looking at you in surprise you frowned. "What?" you grumbled, leaning against a rock. "Nothing." Joel replied just as grumpily before Ellie spoke up, the tiniest of smiles on her lips. "Well the guy back at your camp said you didn't smile ever since he met you, so it's kinda nice seeing you like that." she explained, though she glanced to the side when she realised what she just said. 

"You mean amused and with a ripped open arm?" you mused, ruffling up her hair a bit as you teased. It surprised you, to hear your own voice speak like that, to feel your otherwise turned downside mouth twitch into a light smile. Somehow just her presence calmed you, perhaps it really was the resemblence to your early-matured brother. "Probably should get that fixed up." Joel commented, causing you to laugh. "Nah, it's alright. I'd rather bleed out than die from one of those things." and that caused him to growl a bit. "Don't be stupid. You won't bleed out, now come on and let's get it fixed before it infects itself and becomes worse." he stated, and by the sounds of it you had no room to argue. "Why did you help me anyways?" you questioned, though it was more mumbled to yourself than anything. "Why shouldn't we?" came the only reply. You decided to leave it and began to walk by his side, smiling a little at the girl walking a bit ahead of you all. "So, you managed to get those things away from your group. Kinda risky, ain't it?" he mused before turning around. "Wait, what are you doing?" you asked, "Well, if you really wanna tag along you should at least tell them you will. They're worried sick and I think you need to talk it out. I'm also hoping for a few supplies, actually." the last part was muttered to himself but you caught it anyways.

"Alright." and suddenly you saw your brother walking besides you, smiling proudly. "You did it." you smiled sadly, huffing, "Yeah..." you mumbled. You somehow felt as though this would be the last you'd ever see of him again. "So, _do you feel like a Hero yet_? Because if you ask me, you are." you smiled slightly, shaking your head. "Nah." you muttered, walking a bit fast and ignoring the looks your new companions gave you. It didn't matter, maybe this journey would help anyways. Because you didn't feel like a hero, yet, doesn't mean you wouldn't in the future.

  


_*_

_You're all that's left and we can't live this lie forever._


End file.
